Why the Pink Tent?
Hey! I'm Meradith... I've been in your shoes.
I wasn't even a young mother. It was my 4th baby. I thought that I had experienced it all. With my first little, postpartum depression mixed with OCD. My second had the same flavor with a bit more of those ugly thoughts... you know the ones? They come out of nowhere and take your breath away? The thoughts that terrify you and wake you up? My third came around and the loss of sleep was so overwhelming. I don't think I shut my eyes for 3 days. When sleep finally came I felt like I couldn't get enough. Then came my son... my fourth kiddo... I thought that I would be fine. I thought that I would be able to handle things. And for 3 days, I did. I was unstoppable. I was flying high then the crash.
I will never forget the moment that the crash happened. It was fast and furious. I was desperate for help. Willing to do whatever it took to stop the feeling of alone and overwhelm that was consuming me. I went to my check up and asked my midwife for help. Told her scary things that were going round and round my head. I hadn't slept. To be honest, I looked scary and withdrawn. I don't even know where my baby was during this whole thing. And then my midwife offered hey "help". She told me if I didn't snap out of it, they would come and have to take my kids. She said my worst fear and why I never opened up about those scary thoughts, or how much I struggled.
I immediately stopped crying. Wiped the tears. Told her I was fine and walked out her door. Never to return. Never getting help. I came home. Shut my door. And suffered through the worst postpartum of my life. If my midwife was going to take my kids, then someone else would too. I made sure I looked fine from thereon, all the while screaming inside for anyone to help me!
Never ever does any mother deserve or have to suffer like this. Yet it happens all too often. From the well-meaning but not helpful family or friends to the downright dangerous and scary threats of child protective services. It's not ok and it has to stop.
What makes it stop? Women need a safe place to be seen, heard and help. I'm passionate about creating spaces for women to experience postpartum they way it should be experienced - surrounded by support and resources to heal and thrive.
Unfortunately, my story isn't unique. But postpartum Pink Tents are the answer to making sure our sisters, daughters, and granddaughters don't suffer like we did.